The Moment I Almost Said “No”
I was one click away from booking a retreat in Switzerland. Everything in me felt a pull towards it: expansion, growth and possibility. Then a thought came in, “I can’t afford it.” Just like that, my body tightened. My mind started listing all of the reasons why I can’t afford it, and I almost closed the tab. Not because this opportunity isn’t aligned with who I am and the work I am doing. But because a part of me didn’t believe it was available to me. So this got me thinking, “What if I could afford it?” What if I left a corner of my mind open to the possibility that this could all work out?
When I caught this beautiful thought bubble, I realized that another paradigm was surfacing. A belief I was holding about myself (up until now), that has run in the background of my mind. This “I can’t afford it” belief is not the truth, it is a pattern of thinking. So instead of shutting it down, I asked a different question; “What if it was possible?”. In that moment something shifted. I didn’t suddenly have the money. Nothing in my external reality appeared magically, but internally, a part of me opened up.
According to Joe Dispenza, a belief is a habit of thinking; when a thought is repeatedly thought and felt until it becomes an automatic, subconscious program. Beliefs become hardwired in our subconscious and once implanted, have the ability to run automatically in the background of our mind, influencing our actions and behaviours.
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” This level of mind gives power to the external circumstances, and can undermine your ability to take action from the point of power within you if you aren’t aware of it. People who move in the direction of their dreams, versus the people who stay stuck, have a different perspective on their external reality. Namely that, they don’t wait for a belief to feel true, before they move forward. They decide to take action even when it feels uncertain. Their willingness to feel uncertainty, doubt and fear builds their threshold for discomfort. And builds their capacity to hold the dream in their hands even in the absence of knowing how it’s all going to work out.
So how do we move forwards with our dream when there is a strong part of us that tries its darndest to pull us back to our comfort zone? One thing you can do is interrupt the first “no”, this is what I did when I asked “What if it was possible?”, instead of closing the tab. Challenge the belief, instead of accepting it as your truth. This creates possibility and bypasses the jerk reaction of resistance.
Next we learn how to expand the how. Instead of entertaining the thought, “I can’t afford this”, I shifted to, “What are some ways this could be funded?”
Thirdly, and this is key, act before you feel ready. Belief is built by giving yourself evidence, and evidence comes from taking action (no matter how small). This is when I looked up flights to Switzerland and checked the details of the retreat. These small action steps signalled to my brain “ok we’re actually doing this” and demonstrated a new state of being dissonant from my usual pattern of behaviour.
Finally, pair action with some grounding work. Expansion can feel triggering for the body because unpredictable behaviour is deemed unsafe. In this instance I went for a walk, while visualizing myself walking the streets of Switzerland. I chose to breathe deeply and embody the feeling of freedom, and pride in choosing this path for myself.
So for you beautiful, badass babes, here’s a question to ask yourself: “If I decided that I was going, what would I do next?” This question opens the door to answers you would not have otherwise received, if you simply closed the tab to your dream. I can bet that you’re currently experiencing a paradigm that is limiting your freedom and fun in life. So the paradigm you’re holding may not be about the money, it may be, do I see myself as the kind of person who gets to do things like this?
Right now, this stage of your expansion isn’t about forcing a new belief. It’s about feeling into what is possible for the next becoming of you and the opportunities surfacing in your life. If you’re feeling the pull for more in your life, this is your invitation to lean into “What if it was possible?”
Have an awesome day everyone!
Made with love always,
Nikita